The Joy of Birthing Newness
Written by Feyi Bello for Sweet Joy Sweet Suffering
An Anthology by Fadekemi Ogunsanya
I now have a complex relationship with suffering. Life has taught me not to approach it with disdain and contempt, but with appreciation and anticipation. I always find joy on the other side of suffering, even if it’s just a glimmer, and knowing that gives me hope.
Sometimes the joy presents itself as relief, relief that the suffering has ended and the worst is over. Sometimes it is in the realisation of the new strength you have acquired from the suffering you have endured. Other times the joy is that feeling of fulfillment when you have achieved whatever goal placed you into that season of suffering in the first place.
When I think of ‘sweet suffering’ I immediately anticipate the good that is to come. The sweet joy is what frightens me, will it compensate for the suffering? Will it all be worth it in the end? Will I regret all that I’ve been through once I arrive at my final destination? I have come to learn that the choice is yours to make.
When I think of ‘sweet suffering sweet joy’ in the literal sense, the first thing that comes to mind is my journey through motherhood. I think motherhood is the perfect metaphor for this. It starts with anticipation, those 9 intense months of being in the dark, through a long corridor of unknowns, with you and your unborn, the most vulnerable parties closely knit together but at the same time total strangers until the very end.
But the day I met my daughter, the suffering became sweet. So so sweet that I look forward to the day that I will do it again. The joy of birthing newness will always topple the suffering and the introduction of that joy makes the suffering sweet. “I experienced this to bring forth that”. You learn to embrace the suffering. It becomes a kindred spirit. To this day even when I think back on the worst of times I endured as I journeyed into motherhood, I am overcome with a deep sense of reverence and appreciation.
It is assured that joy is surely the outcome of suffering. Even on the worst of days, there is the promise of a light at the end of a tunnel. Suffering and Joy are two extremes that work so beautifully together, but only together. Too much of one thing is no good. There must be balance.
Embrace the suffering, make it sweet and see the joy, the sweet joy follow.
